Action Auction

With the stock market the way it is, I figure now is a good time to invest in something that's guaranteed to grow in value. That's why I'll be buying the Action Comics #1 currently up for auction. After only a few hours, the bidding is up to $225,200 -- but there's still almost two weeks left, so I figure I'll wait till the last minute to put in my winning bid. Just to give other bidders (I'm talking to you, Seinfeld and Shaq) time to imagine they have a chance at getting their grubby hands on it.

What I haven't decided yet is where to keep it once I own it. It'll have to be kept at an undisclosed location, at least on a long-term basis. But for a little while I'll display it in a special light-blocking frame.

If you want to see it, let me know. I'll be selling tickets.

Sleeveless

It was a nice slap in the face to the dopes who can't shut up about how Mrs Obama's sleeveless dresses are *inappropriate*: her official portrait was unveiled with, you guessed it, no sleeves. She looks fantastic, as always.

Twilight: Spoiler-Free Imaginings of an Alternate Breaking Dawn

Maggie: Seriously, did they have to ______ a ______? Couldn't they have just ______ ______?

Ben: Ugh, the ______. Yes, they could've and should've just had tons of ______. Surely there was a better, funner way for ______ to get ______ but still show ______. How about this: In a ______ with the ______ (you know, the one that ______ ______, hehe), Bella throws ______ in the way to save ______. Then, as she's about to ______, ______ ______ her. Then they ______ sex. Then ______ seek ______ in the ultimate climactic ______ in which Edward and Bella ______ and ______ the ______ and ______ the vampire ______ together with a ______ ______. Then how about Jacob ______ into a ______ with ______ that's ______ carefully ______ enough to keep ______ from looking like a total ______. He becomes an ambassador to ______, ______ the werewolves at the ______ of mythical creatures. And everyone lives happily ever ______.

Maggie: ______ ______ ______!!

Myers-Briggs in Love

Me: You are an ENTP and I am an INFJ - almost exact opposites.
Mike: So there's an 'N' in love.

Christopher Reeve Foundation

This is a fundraising plea and a plug for my friend Kate.

She's running the Boston Marathon this year and she is part of Team Reeve. Her run will benefit the Christopher Reeve Foundation. She has to raise $5,000 by the end of March.

If you can afford to give even a few bucks towards her goal, it would support an inspiring woman who is always looking for ways to make the world a better place.

My Uncle

He was an Army photographer in the Korean War. From the calendar on the wall I can tell that the picture was taken on Saturday, the Ninth of a month ending in R, 1954. A quick search online: it was October.

I wonder what the was typing?

My Grandparents

This is my grandparents on their wedding day.

What's new, Arthur?

My favoritest collection of short stories ever -- a twisted, lovely bunch of stories called Dogwalker -- is by a man named Arthur Bradford. The stories are about mutant puppies and all manner of crazy dreamworld ridiculousness told with a hilarious and touching matter-of-factness. Every once in a while I check his name on Amazon in hopes of finding a new release, but, to my dismay, aside from a few blips in McSweeneys, he's never published anything else.

His real interest seems to be in working with mentally handicapped adults at a place called Camp Jabberwocky. His project How's Your News? involves a team of handicapped campers doing man-on-the-street interviews around the country. There's a great documentary about it, and it's newly a series on MTV.

Seeing Bradford's name in the news made me Google him once again in my eternal hope of finding a new book, and I was happy to stumble across his baby blog, called Diaper Bandit, in which he chronicles his life as a new father. There's almost a year's worth of posts and I'm looking forward to reading them. Babies may not be as interesting as the cat-faced circus freaks in Dogwalker, but I'll take what I can get.

Planning a Trip to SanFran

Me: We could take a daytrip to see the redwoods.
Him: Sure.
Me: (a few minutes later) I want to go to Alcatraz.
Him: So start shooting people.
Me: They don't keep prisoners there anymore.
Him: Oh.

Explore the Hut!

Click here to take a tour of the fort where Roald Dahl wrote all his books. It looks exactly like something that sprung out of a Roald Dahl book -- but I guess it's actually something that went into them.

Shoes on a Wire

One of my favorite things of all time is seeing shoes hanging from a wire. Sneakers or boots, phone or cable wires, it makes me happy. I saw a different pair of shoes slung over power lines every day for the last four days. Maybe the universe was wishing me Happy Valentine's Day.

I've heard that shoes on a wire can relate to gang activity. And that in some regions it is what you do with your old shoes when you get a new pair. Maybe some people do it for the artistic effect. Not necessarily because it's that artistic, but it is kinda of romantic.

Much to my delight, the movie Big Fish featured a magical village that you could not escape from unless you threw your shoes over the wires.

Shorts As Shirt

There are so many funny things in this video I don't even know where to start.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Ticketmaster, will you be my Valentine?

Ben: I was unable to get concert tickets for Kings of Leon. They went on sale this morning at 10:00 -- I was waiting, refreshing the Ticketmaster page until it went live. At 10:01 I was offered tickets that I thought were too far away from the stage so I rejected them. When I searched again at 10:02 there were no tickets found. Ditto for several minutes after that. So it appears they sold out in 2 minutes. Those other umpteen thousand people who want to see them can suck it!

Maggie: Don't even get me started on Ticketmaster. I hate them too. The same thing happened to us three times before. The third time, we went to the library so we could all (Jon, Mike and I) be on a computer, ready and waiting, and we still didn't get tickets.

Ben: At first I thought I was relieved that they were sold out because between the ticket price and Ticketmaster's stupid convenience charges it would've cost me a hundred bucks. But I wasn't really relieved so I checked again for tickets just for the heck of it. By then they'd added a second concert on another night and for that one I was offered pretty great floor tickets. I got to the check-out stage and saw the $110 price and balked and canceled the order. Stupid Ticketmaster fees. Do they really need to charge $23 for processing a web order? At least when Jesse James robbed you he had the decency to wave a gun in your face.

Maggie: I wish Ticketmaster wasn't such a monopoly. I wiggle over shows whose tickets are sold on alternate online services.

Ben: Ticketmaster makes us their Ticketslaves.

All Dogs Go to Heaven

Brother: I'm not one for songs in cartoons. Unless it's song from All Dogs Go to Heaven.
Me: That movie was so depressing. I think it traumatized me.
Brother: It's not upsetting - all dogs go to heaven!
Me: Yeah, after violent, mob-related deaths.

Etsy

Etsy, the DIYer's response to eBay, is one of my favorite online places to browse. So many things that I wish I could afford, like handmade dresses.








So many beautiful stained glass pieces of mermaids and dragons, or dancing skeletons.




So many funky, whimsical items like this glass-and-charms crown.

Valentines from Dad

Just got a delivery at work: one bouquet for the office, one bouquet to take home with me. And a box of chocolates. In Dad's family, one never forgets the chocolates.

The map that comes with a box of chocolates is another one of my favorite things in the world. I hate when there isn't a map. It's almost as good as the chocolates.

Get it while it's hot!

Now's your chance: Boston's Hancock Building is up for sale.

Quote of the Day

"Suspect Fairey continues to engage in a constant and systemic assault on Boston neighborhoods."

--Affidavit requesting Shepard Fairey's arrest.

Note the assault in the photo below. I hardly think five pictures of Andre the Giant demanding your allegiance counts as an assault on anyone's neighborhood.


I'm reminded of our Aqua Teen Hunger Force incident from a couple years ago and I suspect Boston is just doing its best to look as unhip as possible.

Lunchtime Arrangements

Maggie: Dear Ben,
I would eversomuch enjoy it if you would accompany me on a prowl for sustenance this afternoon.
Yours Truly, Maggie


Ben: Magatha Christie,
It would be my absolute pleasure to break bread with you this afternoon.
But wherever shall we go?
Yours in rain and shine, Benedict Tortlemain


Maggie: Sir Benedict Tortlemain,
I shall leave our destination to your discretion, but with one suggestion: Perhaps the Chinese location that was our intention on our previous outing is again available?
Tut tut, Magatha


Ben: Lady Magatha,
I fear that our Chinese restaurateur actually got his queue stuck in the fake-meat grinder, and was scalped, and that the "Renovations" sign is a ruse to preserve appetites and future business.

It may be re-opened by now, but I'm hesitant to chance all that walking in what may be, by then, a rainstorm involving much cats-and-doggery. Perhaps we should keep from the out-of-doors as much as possible. I suggest we visit the Pru Food Court for some smorgasbourdinous burritos.
Cherries, S.B.T.


Maggie: Sir Benedict,
I am glad of your forethought regarding the weather. Fortunate that our discourse has led to an agreeable arrangement.
I accept your proposal of food court dining with much enthusiasm. Shall I assume 9 minutes past 1 will be the time in which we make haste to the burrito counter?
Affectionately, Magatha


Ben: M,
I shall catch the orange choo-choo at 10 minutes before the hour, which should place me bodily at Back Bay (I am already there in spirit and in stomach) at approximately 1 o'clock this afternoon. My Lord is out today, so the hours of my servitude are somewhat relaxed.
SBT

OBEY Fairey. Cont'd.

Me: Speak of the devil, Shepard Fairey was in Boston last night for an event at the ICA (he has an exhibition running through August) and he got arrested on his way there. Two outstanding warrants.
Me: Good. He belongs in jail.
Me: How can you say that? He's a great graffiti artist.
Me: Art shmart. His stuff belongs in an evidence book, not a museum.
Me: The article says he's been arrested 14 other times. It's awesome that he's willing to suffer for his art.
Me: Fourteen's not enough. And he's not suffering -- he's an attention hog.
Me: He makes things beautiful and interesting.
Me: He defaces other people's property.
Me: Ugh. You know, this is why writing my graffiti-writer story is so difficult. You.
Me: The one with your precious São Pauloan graffiti writer?
Me: Yes. He's supposed to be the hero of the story.
Me: Don't blame me if I'm turning him into the criminal he is.
Me: I won't let you.
Me: Just watch.
Me: You're such a Gollum.
Me: You're such a Smeagol.

Beauty and the Bong. Cont'd.

Wow. That bump-bump you just heard was Michael Phelps getting thrown under a bus. First he got bounced from his endorsement deal with Kellogg ("Michael's most recent behavior is not consistent with the image of Kellogg," company spokeswoman Susanne Norwitz said) (which seems exactly wrong to me -- what do potheads like more than Froot Loops?). Then he got suspended from swimming competitions. Check the reasoning:

"This is not a situation where any anti-doping rule was violated, but we decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people."

It's amazing how quickly we'll trash our heroes. Wasn't this the guy the whole country was in love with six months ago?

When Superman got a blast of red Kryptonite and developed a psychotic alternate personality and vaporized a planet with his heat vision, did we abandon him? No!

When President Obama failed to thoroughly vet Tom Daschle, did we drop our support? No!

The Phelps Fiasco should similarly have gone no farther than "I'm sorry" and "it's OK, we still want to make out with you."

OBEY Fairey

I'm pretty persnickety when it comes to the concept of copyright. The idea of anyone using my characters without my permission makes my skin crawl. That said, I don't know why the AP is making a stink about Shepard Fairey's HOPE poster now. Maybe if he'd ever passed the portrait of Obama off as his own there would be some revelation here, but there's a web documentary, which I saw even before the election, of Fairey talking about how he made the poster, and why he based it off of that particular photo from the news. Should he have gotten permission from the photo's owner? Probably. (Though it seems to me his work could be considered a parody of the original photo, like MAD Magazine or something.) But even if it's illegal, such is street art. (And it should be noted that Fairey hasn't made any money himself off the poster.)

I think the AP is just trying to stake its claim on Obama-mania. On the T yesterday I saw a UMass poster advertising the fact that it gave Barack an honorary law degree in 2006. It's still strange to me that anyone wants to associate themselves with the president. Isn't the president supposed to be toxic? Now he sells magazines.

A Darn of a Yarn

“Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people.... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”

--Stephen King, speaking the truth. And yet...

Twilight is further proof of how good writing and good storytelling often are two totally separate things.

Beauty and the Bong

I think the hooha over the photo of Michael Phelps with the bong is disgusting. The outrage is so phony and pointless. He is, by every account I've seen, a nice guy, not to mention the fact that he just won his country a bazillion gold medals -- he doesn't deserve to get trashed for something practically everyone does or has done themselves.

If he broke a law, fine, but the finger-wagging over what a 23-year-old did at a party is lame lame lame. Chill out, America.

Michael, you're still Phelpsian in my eyes!

Cupcakes

Cupcakes: pirate, monkey, Jaws, veggies, ninja, alien, dog.

Conversion

Me: Would you like some string beans with your tortellini?
Him: Don't try to convert me to your lifestyle.

Earth

I thought that Planet Earth documentary on the Discovery Channel a couple years ago, despite its stunning photography, was pretty dry. This looks like some of the same footage, but in a more palatable package. Maybe I'm just a sucker for the narration of James Earl Jones.

Overheard in New Jersey

"I'd've been Hitler just for the back rubs."

"It's weird that they'd get that bent out of shape over 50 kilos of heroin."