If you please

Ben: We are Sia-mese if you plee-ease.
Chris: We are Sia-mese if you don't please.
Ben: What movie was that from?
Chris: Lady and the Tramp.
Ben: Oh yeah yeah. What if instead of Lady and the Tramp there was a movie called Gentleman and the Slut? I guess that doesn't have the same ring to it.
Chris: That would be Pretty Woman.

Quote of the Day

"They are scheduled to return to Earth on Saturday."

--10 o'clock news

Where The Wild Things Are. Cont'd

The trailer is out and it looks amaaaazing. (Gotta love that music, too, and once again, I'm so glad the Wild Things are puppets.) This has definitely joined my list of most-anticipated movies of 2009, along with Star Trek and New Moon.

Twilight Poems: New Moon movie

I wonder if I'm going to cry
When in New Moon, Edward says, "Bye"
When Bella sinks to the ground,
I bet my tears will fall down.
I hope the next 6 months fly!

The Easter Bunny

Mom: The Easter bunny is in the plaza.
Me: Awww, that's cute.
Mom: It's just an idiot in a bunny suit.
Me: Yeah... I get it.

Where The Wild Things Are

I don't have any particular sentimental attachment to the book. Still, the movie (what little I've seen so far, including this poster) looks to be visually awesome. And count me interested in anything that brings Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers together.

Click for bigger.

Lunchtime photography

I went out during lunch to buy some birthday cards. When I got back to work a lady outside asked me to take her picture with the Locke & Ober sign. She explained exactly how she wanted it taken (landscape, not portrait) and even had me pose for the shot so she could figure out the best angle.

When she gave me the camera she insisted that I put the camera string around my wrist.

I took the first shot and showed it to her, fully expecting it not to be acceptable. I was preparing myself to spend my lunch hour snapping pictures of this lady and her overpriced restaurant. But after all that setup, she looked at the picture and said, "Eh, that's fine." She thanked me and walked away.

Moss Graffiti

I'm so doing this.





Stand by for pictures of my own moss graffiti creation. (I have to find a place first.)

MILK

I watched MILK last night and it was not easy to watch. As a movie and a biopic it left something to be desired, but as an experience it was an emotional roller coaster.

This is a history that isn't taught in schools, and it's one I've felt far removed from. But it struck me while watching the real-life news footage of the police raids on gay bars, of gays being rounded up and arrested, that those events led directly to my being able to sit here on my couch and watch this movie with my husband, in a relationship legally indistinguishable under Massachusetts law from that of a straight couple. Those men wore handcuffs; I wear a wedding ring.


That is inspiring, but the movie was also frustrating. As far as we've come, it's amazing how little we've learned. And how history repeats. The big crusade in the movie is against Prop 6, the passage of which would've made it legal for employers to fire people based on their sexual orientation. The gay establishment at that time, such as it was, wanted to wage a tip-toeing campaign to sneak the issue past voters, based on the belief that straight voters would never support gay rights. Milk insisted on the opposite, on gays being out and in the open; his theory was that "if they know us, they won't vote against us." It worked overwhelmingly.

Thirty years later, with Milk's winning strategy clearly known but without Milk to push it, a closety campaign was waged against Prop 8 based on vague notions of "equality" and "the right thing to do" and a total reluctance to show the people and families Prop 8 would hurt most. Even to the point where an amazingly pro-gay letter to the campaign from then Democratic nominee Barack Obama was not used in ads or flyers apparently because it used the word gay too much. Milk's lessons were ignored, and as a result, we lost.

At the end of the movie when Harvey gets shot -- first through the palm as he tries to block the bullet, then through his chest, and finally through the back of his head -- it filled me with a sense of loss and anger for what might have been accomplished under his leadership. Thirty years have gone by and the gay rights movement has been unable to turn out another Harvey Milk. Instead we have organizations like the Human Rights Campaign that still can't bring itself to put the word gay in its name. It seems to me we should be paying a little more attention to the original Milk.

I think it's important for the gay community never to underestimate how much some people hate us, and the tremendous amount of effort and money they'll expend to keep us down. But it's even more important to remember how many more people are willing to welcome us, if we only present them with the opportunity.

Zach and Miri Make a Porno

Ben: I watched Zack & Miri last night and loved it from start to finish. Totally hilarious.

I loved Brandon "Superman" Routh's brief part as Justin Long's gay lover. Haha. And I loved Seth Rogen's enjoyment of their spousal fight.

Speaking of farts... The scene where the cameraman gets "frosted like a fucking cake" had me laughing so hard I almost died.

Maggie:
The more I think about this movie, the more I love it. One of the small touches that I liked was that Miri had kind of shitty blond hair with dark roots. They didn't give her fabulous looking hair which makes sense because she probably couldn't afford it. I love her roots.

Weren't they adorable? Despite how pretty she is, what a train wreck. That dress she wore to the reunion? Yeesh. And yes, Brandon Routh was hilarious. I couldn't remember where I knew him from, but I said to Mike, "That voice he's doing is nowhere close to his real voice, right?" Mike said, "Not in the slightest. This is awesome."

I almost cried when they have sex because I thought it was touching that they had the awesome great-sex music but to the guys filming, it looks boring. I liked that scene a lot, though their salsa-ing around while they took each other's clothes off was painful to watch.

I could have done without seeing Jason Mewes full-frontal.

Ben:
I didn't quite get why they were so poor. I guess you just have to take it for granted. Did Miri even have a job?

Miri was totally beautiful in her flabbergasted way. In the scene where she's sitting on the couch during the lights-back-on party, talking to the porn star, there's a huge contrast between the porn star's Barbie-esque idealized hotness and Miri's girl-next-door beauty.

I loved him rinsing her hair with the toilet water. They were extremely cute together. (It's nice to know Seth Rogen can do chemistry -- I found there was absolutely none in Knocked Up.) You're right, their sex scene was great. I loved how the whole look of the picture changed when it moved in to the close-up of them. It goes from looking all porny-lit and amateur to this warm, glowing close-up that reflects what they're feeling.

Hilarious when Zack got the hand-warmer packet stuck under his balls. Why did he put it down his pants in the first place?? He was pretty adorable in that hat, though.

Jason Mewes was funny, although he sure is funny looking, isn't he? His body looks like it's made out of plastic and has a weird shape. His hair is strange and his face looks a little like a dinosaur. I wonder if he showers in formaldahyde. He doesn't look human to me.

The dialogue was great. It was fun just listening to the characters talk.

Maggie:
I think the problem with Jason Mewes's appearance can all be attributed to heroin. People who were junkies just seem to look wrong even after they've recovered.

I'd blame the lack of chemistry in Knocked Up (which I didn't see) on Katherine Heidgel. I've never seen her in anything but 27 Dresses (with the delicious James Marsden) but I didn't feel chemistry in that flick either. And it certainly wasn't Mr. Blinding Smile's fault.

I thought she worked at a store in the mall but you never see her at work. In the beginning, doesn't she wake him up because she's going to be late to work, but then drives him to work and we don't see her go anywhere?

The hand-warmer thing made me laugh because I've been walking around with those things in my boots all winter.

Ponzi!

Number of times during one afternoon listening to NPR that I heard the phrase "Ponzi scheme" after realizing they were saying "Ponzi scheme" a lot:

9

15 Things on Google Earth

This fascinating slide show by a former colleague of mine shows 15 of the amazing things you can see via Google Earth.

The elephants and hippos are my favorite, of course, but that giant Italian wool bunny looks awfully cool too. Ahhh, people... they're so weird.

And who wants to see the island where Tom Hanks spent, what was it, 7 years?

Novelists on Novelizing

Beginning is daunting; being in the middle makes you feel like Sisyphus; ending sometimes comes with the disappointment that this finite collection of words is all that remains of your infinitely rich idea. Along the way, there are the pitfalls of self-disgust, boredom, disorientation and a lingering sense of inadequacy, occasionally alternating with episodes of hysterical self-congratulation as you fleetingly believe you've nailed that particular sentence and are surely destined to join the ranks of the immortals, only to be confronted the next morning with an appalling farrago of cliches that no sane human could read without vomiting. But when you're in the zone, spinning words like plates, there's a deep sense of satisfaction and, yes, enjoyment.

--Hari Kunzru.

More writers here.

Obama Smash!

Per Saturday Night Live last night, when Barack Obama gets mad he turns into:



I laughed till I ripped my purple pants.

Star Trek Trailer

I said this movie shouldn't be made. But if the new trailer, which looks effin incredible, is any indication of the movie, I'm going to be eating a heaping helping of crow. And happily!

Quote for the Day

"If I followed CNBC's advice I'd have a million dollars right now. Provided I started with a hundred million dollars."

--Jon Stewart, on the stock market

Streaming We Can Believe In

Obama is currently streaming the White House forum on healthcare reform for our viewing pleasure. I'm seeing about twenty people sitting around a table in a smallish office room talking (at least it looks like they're talking -- my computer at work has no speakers). This video is a small thing but Obama said on the campaign he was going to make it available and it's being done. At this point I'm pretty amazed at how many campaign promises he's kept. Could it be possible that he wasn't just talking?

Oh, they're all getting up now. Lunch time? Or have they figured out healthcare already? I'm guessing probably lunch.

Tropicana

I join the rest of the world in thinking the new Tropicana packaging is, let's say, unfortunate. Every time I pour a glass I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm about to drink a bathroom cleanser. To me it just looks anonymously, ambiguously soapy.

Vermont, even in the winter

Snowmobiling is the best. Last time we went, I drove and crashed us. This time, Mike drove the whole way up Rt 108, through the notch and back.

No Line On The Horizon

Hearing new songs from your favorite-favorite band is like meeting a half-sibling you didn't know you had: weird, exciting, and, for better or worse, forever a part of the rest of your life. Such it is with the eleven new songs on No Line On The Horizon, U2's twelfth album and the third released during my time as a fan (fandom achieved December 1998). U2 songs take a while to grow on me and they never really reach their potential until they're played live. (I would not have suspected "Love And Peace Or Else" to be one of the best songs on the previous album until I saw Bono pounding away its finale on Larry's drum, pieces of the sticks sailing into the audience.) Thus I'm not ready to comment on the songs.

But I will wax nostalgic about the hype that used to surround an album release, back in the olden days, pre-Internet. It used to be, the only taste you had of an album was its first single -- the other songs remained a mystery. There was a desperation to hear them as the release date crept closer. This is why Josh and I would stand in the rain outside Newbury Comics in October 2000, waiting for midnight and the release of All That You Can't Leave Behind. I remember hiding under the covers that night, listening on my headphones.

I don't actually even own No Line On The Horizon yet but I've heard all the songs. First like a year ago there were clips some fan had recorded on his cell phone outside U2's studio -- muffled sounds of rehearsals within; it was pretty clear from that what the new album would sound like. Then last month Walmart.com briefly posted 30-second clips of all the songs, way before they were supposed to. And since yesterday U2.com has been streaming the entire album for your listening pleasure. It's a little sad that the magical moment of pressing play for the first time has been diluted by all these teases. But, like I said above, none of these songs really come alive until they're played live. And when they do I'm sure they won't disappoint.

(Photo: Adam Clayton calls me to ask how I like the new album.)

Bunker/Nixon

A few weeks ago I posted a clip from an episode of All In The Family wherein Archie Bunker manages to insult the entire planet in the span of about five seconds. His tirade begins when Gloria and Meathead want to invite to dinner a friend of theirs who Archie suspects is a queer.

Archie meets the queer, an ascot-wearing, swooshy type dude, and all his stereotypes about homos are validated, to Archie's smug satisfaction. After dinner Archie goes to the bar to gossip to his buddies about the fairy. This is when he finds out one of the guys from the bar, a manly, football-playing model of masculinity, is gay. Per the premise of the show, Archie's mind blows up just in time for the closing credits.

Anyway, I stumbled across this recording of Richard Nixon discussing that episode with his staff. It's pretty rich. The level of paranoia is scary and hilarious at the same time. Here's a taste of Nixon talking about how all the clothes designers have gone gay:

One of the reasons that fashions have made women look so terrible is because the goddamned designers hate women. Now that's the truth. You watch.

(Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan)