Quote for the Day

I was scarred for life for a year!

--Paula Abdul on her encounter with Bruno.

Bo

I love how the press has all those microphones aimed at him as though he's going to say something.

The First Warm Day of the Year

Trees in my development.

Bushes in the woods.

We walked through the woods to this dog park to sit and watch the dogs play. I need to get a dog. I'm looking into fostering.

Poe Square!

I'm all for Boston having an Edgar Allan Poe Square, but does the intersection of Charles Street and Boylston really stir Poe-y feelings in anyone's heart? It may be near his birthplace, but when I think of Poe I think of him writing The Pit and the Pendulum in a mad frenzy and then falling into a gutter drunk. By Emerson and the Common, in view of PF Chang and the Four Seasons, is not a good place to fall into a gutter drunk. The only thing that can be said to be macabre about the area is perhaps the creepy way the Cold Stone Creamery people burst into song. But if a raven nests on the street sign, I'll shut up.

Plump Fiction

Worst parody I've ever tried to watch. I'm totally disappointed.

What's wrong with you Netflix? You said I'd love it - is that just because I loved Pulp Fiction and Natural Born Killers? Because that shouldn't be enough. You should take into account that this movie is a C-movie at best. When Sandra Bernhard is the biggest name on the cast, you know you have a problem.

Cross-species friendship

The Obama's New Dog

I know Malia has allergies that made the choice of adopted dog a bit tricky, but I was disappointed to read that the First Pet is a purebreed. I was excited when the Obamas announced plans to adopt from a shelter. I hoped it would encourage others to do the same.



I know everyone has a lot of opinions about the mysterious new dog. Here's my two cents: If my animal rescue volunteering has taught me anything over the last four or five years, it's that people are going to rush out to buy an Obama dog of their own. Then shelters will start seeing more of these dogs surrendered.



This routine has played out many times over. Years ago, a shelter manager gave me this example: A Disney movie starring husky dogs causes people to rush out and adopt one, not realizing the amount of exercise and discipline the breed requires. They end up in shelters. Many end up euthanized. It sucks.

David Sedaris

A good story.

Twilight Poems: Victoria and James

Victoria lost her mate
She plotted revenge fuelled by hate
She couldn't stay calm
So she went to the prom
To scout out Edward and his date
-Maggie

Victoria lost her mate James
Who she met on the shore of the Thames
From Forks to Phoenix James tracked
Then got killed when the Cullens attacked...
Yet somehow it's Bella she blames?
-Ben

Now Vic follows Bella around
Even on her night on the town!
She did up her hair
And found a nice dress to wear
But she had to go alone because her mate is dead those fucking vegetarian vampires I'm going to kill you and that succulent bitch human of yours.
-Ben

Woohoo, Vermont!

Nice work!

Twilight Summary in Comic Form

This is the funniest mockery of Twilight I've seen. The summary of all four books is hill-arious.

Dear Governor. Cont'd

In sharp contrast to the post below, here is someone seizing his moment. From Iowa today, a state senator, blocking a constitutional amendment there:



Brought a little tear to my eye...

Dear Governor

I'd like to send a big hearty fuck-you to the governor of Vermont, who today vetoed legislation that would allow gay and lesbian couples to marry there.

(The House and Senate will try to override his veto. Here's hoping they have the votes.)

What I can't understand in this matter is the inability of some people, like the governor, regardless of their personal feelings, to understand which way the tide of history is moving and to want to jump into it. I mean really. Don't they get it? Don't these people think of their legacy? Don't they worry about what their grandchildren will think of them? Don't they know they're going to be the George Wallaces of this generation?

Why do some people choose to be the last guardians of a bigoted past, when the future is just about smacking them in the face with the chance to be a hero?

Today would've been the first time same-sex marriage was legalized through purely legislative means. He could've made history. He failed. I hope someday soon he's deeply ashamed.

Overheard on the T

My husband had the kids at the grocery store and I guess some woman told him "Ooh, their skin is such a nice color." And my husband said, "Thanks, well my wife is black." And the woman said, "Oooh, so that makes them Hispanic?" And my husband was like, "Not exactly..."

Quote for the Day

Her boyfriend wears dresses. She was telling me. She came home one day and he was chilling in a polyester house dress. He said, "Look what I got today."

--Anonymous

Twilight Poems: New Conversions

A few friends hadn't read the book
So I suggested that they take a look
Now they're obsessed
I'm sure that you guessed
forbidden fruit provides quite a nice hook.

A few of them saw the flick first
and fell in love with Edward's blood thirst
now that they've read the series
we're swapping our theories
but since we're older, we feel like perverts.

Twilight Cookbook

I am an unlikely person to say this (especially after the recent limericks), but a Twilight Cookbook? Really? I detest movie tie-in merchandise.

I stopped in Hot Topic this weekend to pick up an AC/DC t-shirt, and was shocked to see the multitude of Twilight merchandise. Thankfully no bobble-heads, but plenty of t-shirts, stickers, posters, fake fangs, keychains, and jewelry.

As we stood at the register, Mike said, "Can I buy you a Twilight t-shirt?"

And I slouched to hide from the cashier, wishing he hadn't said anything. "No!" I said, pretending like the thought was beyond ridiculous.

Mike seemed confused that I rejected his offer. He knows I've watched the movie eight times so far. But seriously, let's not talk about it in public.

Twilight Poems: Edward Meets Charlie, Officially

Edward said, "Baseball will be fun,
And I'll bring her right home when we're done."
If he knew Bella smelled delicious,
Charlie would've been more suspicious
and done a lot more than clean that old gun!

Twilight Poems: Just Do It

Edward stirs a feeling that lingers
All Bella can do is make zingers
Bella wants sex
It's not that complex!
But Edward says not till he blings her.
-Ben

There once was a girl named Bella
her coordination wasn't too stellar
until her husband bit her
after he finally did her...
Oh man, he is one sexy fella
-Maggie

Twilight Poems: Mean to Charlie!

Bella "needed tests in Atlanta"

So her parents sent her a plant-a

The card said Get Well

Bella thought: Go to hell

Then she played with her secret infant-a

Twilight Poems: Hot & Heavy

Edward and Bella got heated
On her bed, which my mind has repeated
But Stephenie didn't like it
So Catherine said, "Strike it."
It's too bad that scene was deleted!

Twilight Poems: The Volturri's Hypocrisy

They claim to have no toleration
For exposing vampirization.
But at home it seems silly
How they feed willy-nilly!
Ate thirty tourists there on vacation!


-Ben

Twilight Poems: How to Kill a Vampire

Bella quickly learned
that even vampires can end up in an urn.
They can be killed
if you have the will:
just tear the body apart, and then burn

The tracker James is a beast
and he tries to make Bella a feast
but Edward said no,
set a fire aglow
and tore him apart piece by piece!


-Maggie

Iowa

Welcome to the Midwest, baby.

DES MOINES, Iowa - The Iowa Supreme Court says the state's same-sex marriage ban violates the constitutional rights of gay and lesbian couples, making it the third state where gay marriage is legal.

In a unanimous ruling issued Friday, the court upheld a 2007 Polk County District Court judge's ruling that the law was unconstitutional.

Unanimous!

Green Peace Guy

Upon settling in at a table at Brugger's Bagels...

Maggie: So I was walking down the street, and I saw these three Green Peace people. I was just going to walk by because I was in a rush to get here, but as I passed I noticed that one of them was shockingly goodlooking. He had buzzed hair -

Ben: I know that guy. Amazing eyes and a smile that would make you religious?

Maggie: Yes!