Take It Off

I'm wearing a dress today that is like an extra-long button-down shirt. It's knee length but it has a collar and buttons all the way down the front. If you unbuttoned all of them, you could take it off like a robe, or, well, like a button-down shirt.

This guy at work (who is less then ten years older than me) just said to me, "I have a question for you and I hope you won't think it's inappropriate. I saw you walk by with that dress, and that dress has buttons all the way to the bottom and so, I wondered like, how do you take that dress off? Do you unbutton it all the way, or do you undo a few and pull it over your head?"

"I unbutton it to like, here," I said, pointing at about bellybutton height, "and then I step out of it." It immediately occurred to me that if I said that line in a sexy voice, slowly and making eye contact the whole time, it would have been like a sex scene in a movie. Instead, I said it matter-of-factly, not making eye contact at all, and poking my soda-bloated belly like I was the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

"You do?" he asked. "So, you don't take it off like it was a robe or anything?"

"Nope. Too lazy to undo all the buttons." Then I started to feel awkward about the conversation so I wanted to change it from the dress to something else so I said, "I do the same with shirts - I just unbutton them far enough to be able to pull them over my head. Then I wash them that way so there are fewer buttons to do up later."

"Really?! Because I unbutton shirts all the way."

I didn't say anything and continued to make my lunch. He then said, "I hope that didn't cross a line, but it just got me to thinking."

"Not at all," I said, thinking, Wow, if he wasn't young and sort of attractive that would so have been crossing a line.