Friday, January 27, 2006

Bathroom Discourse, Part 3

I think women probably have a more social bathroom atmosphere than men. I think only on television do men talk in bathrooms. As I said, my public bathroom experience is limited, but I don't recall ever hearing anyone speak.

I never, ever go Number 2 in a public bathroom. I have been known to withstand large amounts of abdominal pain waiting to get home. I can't understand how other people can do it so easily. My pal Josh, for example, goes #2 at every single bathroom he comes across, with no more regard for awkwardness than the typical breather has for inhaling. Josh is Josh, so I can live with it, but if the offender is an authority figure or someone attractive, I would think, "oh well, that's over." If HotNewGuy had gone into the stall instead of the urinal, he would have become just NewGuy.

The ladies' room farting is suprising. I can't even imagine doing such a thing. As far as I'm concerned farting is farting, no matter what room you're in. I would chew up my shirt sleeve trying to hold it in. When I was about ten my family vacationed at a campground -- because we were camping for a few days I had to eventually go #2. It made a loud plopping noise as it hit the water and I heard the two other kids in the bathroom start to giggle. I was absolutely mortified. Maybe I was traumatized, and that contributed to my distaste for public pooping.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The trick is to flush just prior to the plopping- the water covers the noise and you can always flush again when completely do. (courtesy flushing)

Ben Monopoli said...

Haha! Brilliant!