Stop the presses!

My dream job is to be the editor of an independent, moderately successful magazine similar in content to Rolling Stone, but with the focus on books rather than music. Our noble, unattainable goal each issue would be to lift young writers to rock-star status. Printing would be done on-site in the basement of the office, on presses run, like the starship Enterprise, by a harried Scotsman who coaxes every last drop out of the decrepit machines. The result would be a modest living, a lifetime supply of free books, and the sweet smell of ink on my hands at the end of the day.

Unfortunately it's not 1985, and print is kaput.

I'm subscribed to exactly one magazine, the above-mentioned Rolling Stone -- and in fact my subscription expired last fall but they've continued sending it to me, perhaps because there's not a lot of difference between "free" and what they charge for a one-year subscription.

Often by the time each issue arrives I've already read the articles on the Rolling Stone website, but it's fun getting mail.

On page 2 of the issue I got yesterday I found this ad, done in partnership by a bunch of magazines, which reads, in part:

Barely noticed amidst the thunderous Internet clamor is the simple fact that magazine readership has risen over the past five years. ... Think of it this way: during the 12-year life of Google, magazine readership actually increased 11 percent. ... What it proves, once again, is that a new medium doesn't necessarily displace an existing one. ... Just as TV didn't kill movies. An established medium can continue to flourish...

My first thought was Ouch. My second thought was that I don't believe that magazine readership can possibly be up, and I wonder what numbers they massaged to get that result. Third was a feeling of discomfort -- the ad makes me squirm. If you have to join forces with competitors and take out an ad to assure the world you're still relevant, then you're not.

There are some things I'll never accept. I'll never accept the idea that reading a novel on a screen is superior to a paperback book, humankind's greatest invention. Screens and magazines, though, were made for each other. I think rather than sputtering about the continued relevance of print magazines, these organizations should spend their time trying to come up with a business model that will let them make money on the Web, something that apparently no publication has figured out how to do yet.  Maybe someone whose dream job actually matches the calendar year will lead the way.