Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The Six Degrees of a Small World

The new editorial assistant has been working here since December. We chat occasionally. Today, I came back to my desk from recording a podcast and she was in the middle of telling the Intern a story from her weekend. One of her friend's purses was stolen from a bar. Since her friend's address was on her license, which was in her purse, the thief found her apartment and her car. Since her keys were in her purse, they stole her car too.

The story was very familiar to me.

I interrupted: "Wait, tell this story again."

The blonde editorial assistant recapped for me. "On Friday, my friend's purse was stolen and they went to her apartment and stole her car too."

"Who is your friend?" I asked.

"Steph Orm-"

"Oh my God," I interrupted again. "Your friend is roommates with my boyfriend's little sister."

"What?"

"Over the weekend, my boyfriend's little sister was telling us how her roommate's purse and car were stolen. When I first heard you telling this story, I was going to say, 'Wow, that happened to my friend too,' but it's the same person."

"How bizarre!" Editorial Assistant said, seeming genuinely as surprised and excited as me. Intern just stared and listened.

"Yeah, I went to UMass with Steph and she met her roommate because they work together."

"Yup. That's my boyfriend's sister," I said again.

"What a small world! That's like, two degrees of separation," she said.

Things like this happen to people all the time. Usually it's "oh, I have a friend who lived in that building too" or "my brother went to college there too" or "my ex works there too." For me, this is one of the most coincidental of cases since all the people at each point of the "six degrees" are people I've actually met. The roommate, in the middle, I have only met twice, but the other two? One I spend 8 hours a day with, five days a week. The other one I've known since we were both 15; we danced badly at two family weddings, and I've advised about boyfriends and sex several times over the years.

I'm mentioning all of this because I don't believe that it's a small world. Some people go through life never meeting someone who knows someone they know, never running into someone from their hometown (who they previously had never met).

People get excited when they meet someone from the same state they were born in, but why? I live in Massachusetts but when I meet someone from New Jersey, I think - 'how bizarre, you're from Jersey too, but you ended up here?' And I immediately feel a bond with them. This is an absurd reaction.

I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in coincidence. Coincidences are often fascinating and surprising and exciting. They often lead me to seek the larger design at work underneath the fabric of daily life, but I do so only to entertain myself. I could have a field day with this co-worker-is-best-friends-with-boyfriend's-sister's-roommate thing, but instead I'm just reveling in the randomness of the universe.

No comments: