The Lid

Ben: Do you lick the yogurt lid after peeling it off?

Maggie: Yes. But only on Yoplait.

Ben: So do I. The foil demands licking.

Sinister Train Thoughts

I take the commuter train three times a week.

I never see the same people in the morning, but when I'm waiting in Back Bay Station in the afternoons, I see a few recurring characters, including a well-to-do woman in a long fur coat I want to spray-paint on, and a short balding man in an ill-fitting blue blazer.

Right before my train comes, the Acela train comes. It goes to Washington DC. You can observe people inside, businessmen sitting in their comfy chairs, eating fruit cups and sipping alcohol from tiny bottles.

When they're waiting, people tend to line up at the edge of the platform, on the bumpy yellow strip that warns you not to fall down onto the tracks. The other day a man walked up to the yellow strip with such speed and determination that my throat clenched. I was positive he planned to go over the edge. He stopped at the last second -- if he were a cartoon character he would've spronged like a diving board.

I stand back and lean against a concrete pole and have sinister thoughts.

The train brings out sinister thoughts in me. Not angry thoughts or unhappy thoughts -- sinister thoughts. I always think about pushing people over the edge. "One tap on the ass with my shoe and they'd fall in front of the train and be killed," I think. And when the ticket taker moves between cars, the outer doors of which are always open, I imagine the train pitching and spilling him right out. I imagine his body flying past the whole length of the windows, thumping against the glass.

One more

I know I've been posting a lot about Barack Obama lately... and I don't want LCiN to become Obamablog. But this photo of Barack in Metropolis, Illinois seems so tailor-made for me that I just had to post it!

Bagel Dogs

New Jersey has the best bagels, Chinese food, pizza, and Diner omelettes among many other delicious choices. But one food they have that I've never seen anywhere else is bagel dogs.

While at home in Massachusetts, Mike told someone at work about them. The person didn't believe him. He didn't think such a thing existed. When we stopped at the Bagel Station on our way out of town, as we always do, we took a picture to prove it.

You can get a hot dog wrapped in any type of bagel you want.
$3.50.
Sweet 600-calorie brunch, finished in less than ten bites.

Barack and Hillary: The First Punch is Thrown

Ben,

I didn't think your favorite and mine would start in on each other so soon! I'm disappointed in them both.

The article makes a good point about Hillary, though. After Bush is out, it wouldn't necessarily be beneficial to the country to have another polarizing president like Hillary.

Beware the Scrotum!

There's a controversy over this year's winner of the Newbery Medal, the Pulitzer of children's books. “The Higher Power of Lucky,” by Susan Patron, has a naughty word in it, one that's sending some parents and librarians into an absolute tizzy. The word?

Scrotum.

The book’s heroine, Lucky, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog Roy on the scrotum.

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues.

People want this book banned for that word. It may be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Holden Caulfield and his "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck," maybe. But "scrotum"? It's a body-part, people. And it's actually the correct name for it!

Somehow I think these people would've been less offended if the author had used any of the billion euphemisms boys have for their scrotum. Shows how immature adults really can be.

"Psssst. Hey, kid. Yeah, you. Come here. So, kid, you know your nut-sack? Your ball-pouch? Well -- come closer -- doctors and scientists actually call it the scrotum."

Oh, the horror!