Jasper v Edward; Edward v Jacob

Oh, Jasper, what's with your hair?
And that desperate, creepy glare?
I thought the coif would be better
and you'd look like less of a fretter
but next to Edward, you still don't have a prayer.

Most girls think Edward's a hero
but Ben and I think he's a zero
Jacob makes him look drab
(did you see those abs?)
his scenes made us hoot and cheer-0

A new band

Me: Can I be your new bassist?
Mike: Well, can you PLAY bass?
Me: No.
Mike: Then no.

Elephants Never Forget

Brother: Elephants are lucky, you know.
Me: And they never forget.
Brother: That's actually a myth.
Me: I don't know... I've read some books.
Brother: Read a few more.

Message Rock #4

Like last time, a tribute to a lost loved one.

Autumn in New England

Sorry, New Jersey. You may have the bagels and the pizza, but New England has the edge on Autumn.

Sacrilegious Remakes

When I heard they were remaking Adventures in Babysitting, I rolled my eyes. When I heard the star attached to the remake is Miley Cyrus, I almost gagged. What is with the latest trend of remaking movies that have no business being remade? To quote Adventures in Babysitting, "Don't f--- with the babysitter"!

I got the latest Crime Against The Original news today, when I read that they are remaking Thelma and Louise. Thelma and Louise! While Adventures in Babysitting may be a 'classic' in sentimental terms only (I watched it dozens of times as a kid and my brother and I still quote it to each other), Thelma and Louise is an actual classic. Leave our classics alone!

The stars are supposedly one of the actresses from Gossip Girl and another young, barely-starlet. Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis may not be particuarly well-respected actresses, but replacing them with poptarts who are 15 years younger is a disgrace. Possibly the worst detail of all is the remake's title: Cowgirl Bandits. It's bad enough to make my brain explode out my eyes. Goodbye, feminist messages. Hello, superficial girl power.

Why not remake a movie that wasn't done well the first time around? Like Twilight!