LCiN Refresh

Presto change-o.

Ricky's Thesaurus

I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.

Oh Ricky Martin. Not exactly a surprise, but good for you.

I don't get the adjectives that people have started including in these admissions, though. Ricky is a fortunate homosexual. Neil Patrick Harris (the best thing to spring out of the gay community since Pop Tarts) was a content gay man.

Use of adjectives is a relatively new thing. Ellen's coming-out was short and sweet: "I'm gay." (Even if she did say it over a loudspeaker.) It makes me wonder what other famous homos would've said if they'd come out in this age of adjectives...

Ellen: I'm a talkshow-hosting, American-Idol-judging gay woman.
Elton John: I'm a polka-dot-loving, big-glasses-wearing gay rocket-man.
Rosie O'Donnell: Bwaahhh!
Sir Ian McKellan: I'm a wizard-playing homosexual gentleman. Tea?

Twilight: Team Jacob

Taylor Lautner won Favorite Actor at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards yesterday.

BREAKING NEWS: He won the same award at the Ladies Who Could Be His Mom's Choice Awards and the Homos Pushing Thirty's Choice Awards!

Nathan's Hot Dog Contest

This is not seasonally relevant, but I was organizing my journals in preparation to move and I found an article I clipped from the 4th of July weekend papers in 2008. It's a summary of the annual Coney Island Nathan's hot dog-eating contest and it is hilarious.

Here is my favorite part:

Staring into the weiner abyss, the pair found the pluck to continue, devouring the beef and buns with renewed gusto, before Chestnut finally prevailed to chants of "USA!"

When it was over, Kobayashi was left holding a soggy mush of bun in his hand, and Chestnut had achieved nearly mythical status in the annual event held by Nathan's Famous since 1916.

It was a frankfurter photo finish.

Twilight: Purchasing New Moon

Saturday, March 20. The warmest day of the year so far. Ben and Maggie set out from their homes for one purpose: to locate New Moon on DVD and get out of the store with it while drawing as little attention to their quest as possible.

Ben: I possess New Moon.
Maggie: Me too! As of 20 minutes ago. I wish they didn't have the display in the front of the store.
Ben: I strolled by the display and grabbed a disc and then walked a few aisles over to read the features. I opted for the 2-disc special edition.
Maggie: I went back and forth between Best Buy and Barnes and Noble three times trying to decide which had the best price for which version.
Ben: There was a 3-disc version, but I thought: Let's maintain some dignity here.
Maggie: I tried to get an aisle with a female cashier to no avail.
Ben: I bought enough other things to make New Moon look like a spur-of-the-moment grab.

Message Rock #5