Twilimericks: In the Name of Lautner

Jacob Black has long brown hair;
it's pretty much all that he wears.
As if he couldn't be cuter,

he's a big-time U2-er!
I read that and swooned off my chair.

Jasper v Edward; Edward v Jacob

Oh, Jasper, what's with your hair?
And that desperate, creepy glare?
I thought the coif would be better
and you'd look like less of a fretter
but next to Edward, you still don't have a prayer.

Most girls think Edward's a hero
but Ben and I think he's a zero
Jacob makes him look drab
(did you see those abs?)
his scenes made us hoot and cheer-0

A new band

Me: Can I be your new bassist?
Mike: Well, can you PLAY bass?
Me: No.
Mike: Then no.

Elephants Never Forget

Brother: Elephants are lucky, you know.
Me: And they never forget.
Brother: That's actually a myth.
Me: I don't know... I've read some books.
Brother: Read a few more.